By Julia Grady
Let me just tell you, he does not care what pair of shoes you wear tonight or what color lipstick you choose. Make up your damn mind because you're already 20 minutes late to the restaurant that you took two days to decide on.
Guys want you to just tell them how it is. They do not want to constantly be playing the guessing game and wondering if you're telling the truth this time.
Flakiness and tardiness are very bad qualities to have. It gives off the impression that you do not care about the other person and have no intention of keeping them in your life long term.
Ultimatums are a recipe for resentment. If a person makes a decision under the pressure of an ultimatum, they will soon realize this and become less interested in the relationship.
5. Jokes at His Expense
No guy likes to be the butt of a joke. Constantly making jokes at his expense will make him feel belittled and powerless.
6. Playing Hard to Get
Playing hard to get can sometimes give off the vibe that you are uninterested which may sometimes lead a guy to give up hope. Just be straight up with him. A little tease is okay here and there, but don't make him work too hard for it.
7. Trying to Change Him
Don't be that girl that tries to change every little thing about him. If you truly loved him, then you would love him just the way he is. Although, a little constructive criticism never hurt.
8. Cell Phone Addictions
When a girl is constantly checking her phone, that makes a guy think that she has better places to be and more interesting people to talk to. This is a very unattractive quality to have. You can make it through dinner without checking your phone. I promise you Snapchat and Instagram will still be there when you're done.
9. Pretending to be Dumb
I'm not sure who invented the idea that stupidity was attractive, but clearly they were actually dumb and not just pretending to be.
A guy likes a girl who can put her mind to something and get it done like a boss. Do not be the girl who can't even cut her own steak on the first date.
Leave a comment below telling us what your biggest turn-off is.
By Julia Grady
When scrolling through dating profiles there are a handful of guys you will come across. Below is a list of the top ten profile pictures you're bound to encounter during your search.
1. The Dog Picture
Why do the most unattractive guys have the cutest dogs?
2. The Shirtless Picture
Usually to compensate for missing attributes elsewhere.
3. The Girl Picture
Is it his sister? His ex-girlfriend? His current girlfriend? The world may never know.
4. The Faceless Picture
Red flag! There must be something wrong with their face. Recipe for a catfish.
5. The Workout Picture
Do you even lift bro? Probably not. Definitely went to the gym once just to take that photo.
6. The Strictly Group Pictures
Because they want you to assume that they are their more attractive friend. Guys, do not pull this move. Girls do not have the time to scroll through your pictures and guess which one is you.
7. The Car Picture
Showing off his wealth via his car. Weird brag dude.
8. The "I totally just put this suit on to take this profile picture" Picture
You can tell when a guy threw on a suit and had their friend take a picture of them in front of a plain white wall just for their profile picture.
9. The Snapchat Filter Picture
Because they need the dog ears filter to hide their insecurities.
10. The Drinking Picture
The fact that you drink totally needs to be advertised to the world or else girls will not want to talk to you.
By Julia Grady
Every relationship starts out in the oh-so-wonderful honeymoon stage, but believe me, that is not permanent. Each couple is different and moves at various paces, but for the most part, at about the six-month mark couples begin to hit some weird relationship milestones.
1. Farting in front of each other
This milestone is one that every couple is going to encounter whether it be one week into the relationship or one year, it is inevitable. Farting in front of your significant other is a huge step in building comfort and trust. If you are comfortable enough to pass gas in front of your partner, then your relationship is bulletproof. Nothing can break the bond of two people who are truly at ease with the idea of letting one rip in the same vicinity as the person they love.
2. Peeing with the door open
Peeing with the door open is a milestone that usually comes shortly after farting in front of your boyfriend or girlfriend. Opening up the door while using the bathroom is essentially opening up the door in your relationship that leads to all things weird, but you’re totally okay with that.
3. Popping each others pimples
Popping each others pimples is a milestone that may seem totally disgusting to outsiders, but it is a necessary step in a relationship. Sometimes you get those pesky back pimples that you simply can not reach and you need your significant other to lend a hand. Absolutely no shame in this milestone what-so-ever.
4. Borrowing each others clothes
You know you have hit a major milestone in your relationship when your boyfriend or girlfriend finally lets you borrow their favorite pair of sweatpants that they have basically kept under lock and key since you started dating. This step right here shows that your S.O. (significant other) trusts you, and trust is the main building block in every relationship.
5. Wearing no makeup
This milestone is another groundbreaking milestone that shows trust and security between two individuals. A woman often times wears makeup to hide her insecurities, so when she takes off her makeup in front of her partner she is completely letting her guard down and putting all of her insecurities out on the table. Usually in this case men don’t even notice a difference, but to a woman it can be a very daunting task.
6. Sharing all of your passwords
Sharing all of your passwords with your S.O. is the biggest test of trust God has ever created. This person now has access to every single picture, video, message, tweet, and Facebook post you have. You officially have zero secrets and pretty much are an open book whether you like it or not.
7. Moving in your toothbrush
Moving in your toothbrush to your partner’s house is usually a good sign that things are going well. Until you guys move in together (see milestone number 10), you might not always have a toothbrush handy when it is time to go to bed, so having one there permanently solves all your problems. This milestone is often times a prerequisite for moving in together.
8. Sleeping on opposite sides of the bed
Cuddling always looks cute and romantic in movies, but in real life it can get cramped and sweaty. I don’t blame you for not wanting to sleep as the little spoon every single night. I totally get it, being trapped in someone’s arms and having them breathe hot air down your neck all night is neither fun nor romantic. Unfortunately, most couples think that cuddling is required in a relationship. The sooner you realize it is not crucial to the quality of your relationship, the better off you and your sleeping ability will be. So roll over to your respected side of the bed and catch up on some lost sleep.
9. Getting a dog together
Don’t even get me started on having babies, raising a dog with someone is enough of a milestone. Often times in a relationship a couple will adopt a dog to see if they are capable of keeping more than just the plant in the living room alive, and this is often a precursor for having children. Getting a dog is a lot of responsibility, it takes time and patience. Training a puppy is never easy and could potentially but a strain on a couple’s relationship, but in the end it will help strengthen their communication, forbearance, and will bring them closer together.
10. Moving in together
This milestone is truly monumental and deserves a round of applause. Heck, it deserves a damn standing ovation! Moving in with your S.O. is seen to be one of the biggest breakthroughs in a relationship. Living together in theory sounds like a blast, but at the end of the day it is definitely not all fun and games. Moving in together takes communication, compromises, and the ability to let someone eat your leftovers from last night. The key to making moving in together work is making sure you give the other some alone time now and then. I bet you’re super awesome and all, but we all need some space once in awhile.
If you haven’t reached any of these milestones yet, you just wait because you are in for a treat. Leave a comment telling us which milestones you and your significant other have reached in the comment section below!
By Julia Grady
When your dating life isn’t going as well as you may have hoped it would, who better to turn to for advice than the woman who has been successfully married for over 60 years. My grandmother grew up in a much different time than I did, she dated during the 50’s which is not at all similar to how it is today. Back then they had no Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, or any dating apps; they had to actually go out and meet people, or pick up a telephone and call someone. However, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t still have the best advice for when it comes to all things dating, so let me share with you some of her words of wisdom.
1. Be true to yourself, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
You want this person you are dating to like you for who you are, not for who you are pretending to be. Being true to yourself is the first step to a long and healthy relationship. It builds honesty, trust, and loyalty.
2. Be honest.
Honesty is key, but a white lie here and there never hurts as long as it will benefit the other person. When my grandmother found out that her boyfriend (my grandfather) liked livered bacon, she decided to make it for him for a week straight. However, about 50 years later he finally admitted to her that he always hated the way she made livered bacon, but would eat it anyways because he knew she was doing everything in her power to make him happy. In this case my grandfather told a white lie, but it was just to keep my grandmother from getting upset.
3. Never go out if you’re in a bad mood.
This advice seems so simple, but is actually so important. If you go out when you are in a bad mood or aren’t feeling so well then you aren’t going to be much fun. Doing so would just drag your date down and leave him or her with a bad impression of you. That could in turn result in them not calling you back for a second date.
4. Don’t be afraid to make the first move.
My grandmother met my grandfather at the bank that they both worked at. She always had a little bit of a crush on him and would walk by his desk often. One day she decided to go up to him and ask if he want to go to a beach party on Saturday night with her and some friends. He said yes and the rest is history…
5. Don’t let jealousy get in the way.
Being able to trust your significant other is one of the most important things in a relationship. With out that trust you will run into many problems along the way, one of those problems being jealousy. If you truly trust your partner then there should be no need to feel jealous when they are off somewhere without you.
6. Give and get.
Don’t be selfish. You can’t always have things your way, but 50 percent of the time you can! Make sure that in a relationship you are always making compromises, this is key to establishing a strong connection with your partner.
7. Listen and understand.
Being able to listen and understand your partner is truly an important quality to have. There is so much you can learn about your significant other by actually sitting down and listening to what they have to say. When you’re talking to them make sure that when they are speaking you are actually listening intently and not just thinking of what you are going to say next.
8. Don’t be too serious on the first date.
First dates shouldn’t be a challenge, and if they are then that person probably isn’t for you. You should be with someone who you can feel a somewhat immediate connection with, and someone who makes you feel as though you can totally be yourself without the fear of being judged.
9. Be able to put your foot down.
Do not let your significant other walk all over you, that is the recipe for a toxic relationship. You can say no to whatever you want whenever you want, it is not a crime. If you’re partner isn’t able to accept no as an answer, then they aren’t the one for you.
10. Find out the little things.
Its amazing how much the little things truly matter in a relationship. Find out what kind of music they like, what their hobbies are, or what kind of food they like. Talk about each others interests and find out things you may have in common.
11. Do things that you both like.
Doing things that you both like will make hanging out so much more enjoyable for you both. Definitely venture out when you can and try new things, but never drag your partner to do something that you know they will hate. Find that common ground to ensure a long and healthy relationship.
12. Play a little hard to get.
My grandmother was the queen of playing hard to get! She would wait weeks for my grandfather to call just because she didn’t want to be the one to call him first. She did this to see if he truly liked her and actually wanted to hang out. But keep in mind, you should not do this for too long or else your partner may begin to think that you do not care for them which is clearly not the case.
13. Don’t drink too much when you go out in public.
This may be more grandmotherly advice opposed to dating advice, but definitely good advice nonetheless. Drinking too much while you and your date are out in public together can make for a sloppy night and bad memories. This is especially important for the first few dates because you want to make a good impression.
14. Be able to set the tone and shape the relationship.
You need to make sure that you both have the same expectations for the relationship. It is always helpful to make sure that you both want some of the same things. Sit down and have this conversation. Maybe you are looking for a long time commitment while he may just be looking for a summer fling. Be clear about what you want.
15. Let them order a meal for you.
Not only is this a fun way of getting to know each other, but it is also good for your partner’s wallet. My grandmother often did this with my grandfather during the beginning stages of their relationship because she never knew how much money he had on him and didn’t want to order something too expensive.
Have any of your grandparents given you any useful dating advice? Share in the comments below!
The year is 2017, and human beings are connected to each other in more ways than ever. The information age has changed every aspect of life from the way we buy groceries to the way we date. Today we can share data, ideas and dating profiles at lightning speed with a few clicks. When it comes to love however, I fear that in our attempt to make our world more connected- we have made a Faustian compromise.
Where Emily is the pilot, consider me the co-pilot (pun intended). I am a “Professional dater" on a different facet. I have dated most all types of men in all types of ways, and the reason I am such a huge believer in Paper Airplane is because of MY dating journey and the process to actual success.
It all started out somewhat serendipitously- as you would hope any story about dating would. The story begins where another one ends. I had a shattered picture of what my life would be like and no idea what to do. I was going to law school. I was going to be an attorney and I would wear tailored pantsuits and be able to reference case law from memory. I had it all planned out and was on my way. But it was 2010, and the economy had crumbled. Lawyers were out of work and all of a sudden my shiny path seemed more like a trap. Fears of student loan debt, unemployment, and hours spent drawing up contracts in a windowless office like a millennial Bob Cratchit were looming.
Around that time, a college classmate was working in Beverly Hills for a matchmaking agency. I heard from her there was an opportunity in Boston. Matchmaking seemed glamorous (the opposite of law) and so I applied. I was emphatic during interviews, that my experience dealing with constituents and lobbyists in government would make me well suited to deal with their clients. To my surprise and relief- they hired me.
A week later I was in their Beverly hills office, meeting the people that make up a matchmaking company: the sales people, the matchmakers and the client services. Here is how it worked: salespeople are trained to make highly emotional sales. This means using psychological techniques to get people to open their hearts and tell tales of heartbreak and loss, love and desire. They are then asked to explain in great detail the ideal person they would want to date. By the end of the meeting they are filled with hope that this ideal person exists, and are both vulnerable and relieved because another human finally agreed with them on something they had secretly known all along: every failed romance in their lives up until that point, was not their fault. The only fault they had- was they were not skilled at choosing partners. Luckily for them, they were a mere $10k membership away from those problems being a thing of the past.
After the monetary transaction, these clients were transferred to the matchmakers. Matchmakers serviced these clients by sending them emails once every two weeks with a potential match. They also were responsible for sourcing people outside of the client database to match with paying clients. This was problematic not because when a person spends $10k and has described in excruciating detail the type of person they are looking for- they come to expect unicorns. It was problematic because matchmakers cannot source, much less create unicorns.
After the matchmakers failed in the client's eyes (99% of the time) the client services would come in. These are the people who essentially put out fires, prevented lawsuits, litigated in lawsuits, and spent 80% of the workday on the phone with someone crying, threatening to sue them, or both. They would also get pressure from accounting because chargebacks and refunds would effect the books. This pressure was then transferred to sales who were instructed to use higher pressure sales techniques. Sales then pressured matchmakers to use more creative sourcing techniques.
As you may imagine: working every day trying to match people and source people was emotionally draining. I decided at age 24 I was going to be a salesperson. I was the youngest person by far at that company and my request was initially not taken seriously. I was persistent, and eventually I was trained by one of the most brilliant minds in sales I had ever met. I became quite good at sales. I learned to listen to people’s word choices, their stories, their body language, their patterns. I started to understand what self destruction meant, what divorces do to people, how grief and pain and loss shape the way we see ourselves and each other. I became fascinated by these people. I was in a unique position to ask any and every question to them no matter how personal and to dig deep into the motivations and desires behind behaviors. I started learning who was successful in dating and why. Who was unsuccessful and why. I was a quick study at human behavior, and I cannot overstate how much that experience gave me in terms of my emotional intelligence.
It may come as a surprise to you reading this, but the business model wasn’t a recipe for success and the legal liability was making it a sinking ship. I decided to use my skills for good. I started a company called Dateover which was intended to be a makeover for people’s dating lives. I worked with clients on dating coaching, image consulting and helped them re-work their online dating profiles. I was as subcontractor for national dating companies doing events and I consulted with other companies trying to break into the space. It gave me an understanding of the dating industry as a whole and all the myriad of ways people find love. I came to understand a few things: 1- that relationships and connections (not just romantic ones) are the most important things in a human being’s existence. 2-That lack of connection leads to isolation and suffering, and 3- people will throw endless money, time and resources into any hope of ending this suffering. Dating is a big business, and I was not the only person fascinated by it. During this time I got featured in local press, went on part of a speaking tour on dating, and got asked by many people to help them with dating issues they were having...often in inappropriate social settings.
Around this time I connected with a friend in the media lab at MIT. He introduced me to some other people there, and I was struck and mesmerized by how cool the projects they were working on. These people were changing the world! I was only working on one person at a time. We began brainstorming and designing a product that would verify attributes about users to streamline a process that would create a mid market between cost prohibitive matchmaking and unchecked free online dating. The project never got off the ground, but the startup bug had bitten me- hard. I knew I had a unique perspective into the world of dating and I could use that to my advantage. I just had no idea what or how that would work. While I was trying to figure this out I got my realtor’s license and bought the domain “LoveAndRealEstate.com”. This idea caught the attention of producers in LA who wanted to do a reality TV show about the intersection between dating preferences and real estate preferences. We filmed a teaser but the show did not get picked up.
One summer day, I was sitting outside in the garden of my Back Bay apartment and the idea for Paper Airplane hit me. About a month prior to this I was working with a dating coaching client on the concept of “putting out the vibe”. What I was trying to convey was that a person’s energy introduces them and by making yourself appear open and confident- you will attract people. My client asked me how far away from someone he had to be in order for him to “put the vibe out” and I had answered “paper airplane distance”. I probably chuckled in my head because it was a funny analogy and continued the session.
For some reason on that summer day - I realized that my client wasn’t the only person who needed help putting the vibe out. And he wasn’t the only person who had no idea where to go to meet women. Everyone had these problems. A paper airplane is how grade school kids solve this problem- why couldn’t adults with our smartphones do that too? I mocked up the designs and Paper Airplane was born.