By Julia Grady
When your dating life isn’t going as well as you may have hoped it would, who better to turn to for advice than the woman who has been successfully married for over 60 years. My grandmother grew up in a much different time than I did, she dated during the 50’s which is not at all similar to how it is today. Back then they had no Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, or any dating apps; they had to actually go out and meet people, or pick up a telephone and call someone. However, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t still have the best advice for when it comes to all things dating, so let me share with you some of her words of wisdom.
1. Be true to yourself, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
You want this person you are dating to like you for who you are, not for who you are pretending to be. Being true to yourself is the first step to a long and healthy relationship. It builds honesty, trust, and loyalty.
2. Be honest.
Honesty is key, but a white lie here and there never hurts as long as it will benefit the other person. When my grandmother found out that her boyfriend (my grandfather) liked livered bacon, she decided to make it for him for a week straight. However, about 50 years later he finally admitted to her that he always hated the way she made livered bacon, but would eat it anyways because he knew she was doing everything in her power to make him happy. In this case my grandfather told a white lie, but it was just to keep my grandmother from getting upset.
3. Never go out if you’re in a bad mood.
This advice seems so simple, but is actually so important. If you go out when you are in a bad mood or aren’t feeling so well then you aren’t going to be much fun. Doing so would just drag your date down and leave him or her with a bad impression of you. That could in turn result in them not calling you back for a second date.
4. Don’t be afraid to make the first move.
My grandmother met my grandfather at the bank that they both worked at. She always had a little bit of a crush on him and would walk by his desk often. One day she decided to go up to him and ask if he want to go to a beach party on Saturday night with her and some friends. He said yes and the rest is history…
5. Don’t let jealousy get in the way.
Being able to trust your significant other is one of the most important things in a relationship. With out that trust you will run into many problems along the way, one of those problems being jealousy. If you truly trust your partner then there should be no need to feel jealous when they are off somewhere without you.
6. Give and get.
Don’t be selfish. You can’t always have things your way, but 50 percent of the time you can! Make sure that in a relationship you are always making compromises, this is key to establishing a strong connection with your partner.
7. Listen and understand.
Being able to listen and understand your partner is truly an important quality to have. There is so much you can learn about your significant other by actually sitting down and listening to what they have to say. When you’re talking to them make sure that when they are speaking you are actually listening intently and not just thinking of what you are going to say next.
8. Don’t be too serious on the first date.
First dates shouldn’t be a challenge, and if they are then that person probably isn’t for you. You should be with someone who you can feel a somewhat immediate connection with, and someone who makes you feel as though you can totally be yourself without the fear of being judged.
9. Be able to put your foot down.
Do not let your significant other walk all over you, that is the recipe for a toxic relationship. You can say no to whatever you want whenever you want, it is not a crime. If you’re partner isn’t able to accept no as an answer, then they aren’t the one for you.
10. Find out the little things.
Its amazing how much the little things truly matter in a relationship. Find out what kind of music they like, what their hobbies are, or what kind of food they like. Talk about each others interests and find out things you may have in common.
11. Do things that you both like.
Doing things that you both like will make hanging out so much more enjoyable for you both. Definitely venture out when you can and try new things, but never drag your partner to do something that you know they will hate. Find that common ground to ensure a long and healthy relationship.
12. Play a little hard to get.
My grandmother was the queen of playing hard to get! She would wait weeks for my grandfather to call just because she didn’t want to be the one to call him first. She did this to see if he truly liked her and actually wanted to hang out. But keep in mind, you should not do this for too long or else your partner may begin to think that you do not care for them which is clearly not the case.
13. Don’t drink too much when you go out in public.
This may be more grandmotherly advice opposed to dating advice, but definitely good advice nonetheless. Drinking too much while you and your date are out in public together can make for a sloppy night and bad memories. This is especially important for the first few dates because you want to make a good impression.
14. Be able to set the tone and shape the relationship.
You need to make sure that you both have the same expectations for the relationship. It is always helpful to make sure that you both want some of the same things. Sit down and have this conversation. Maybe you are looking for a long time commitment while he may just be looking for a summer fling. Be clear about what you want.
15. Let them order a meal for you.
Not only is this a fun way of getting to know each other, but it is also good for your partner’s wallet. My grandmother often did this with my grandfather during the beginning stages of their relationship because she never knew how much money he had on him and didn’t want to order something too expensive.
Have any of your grandparents given you any useful dating advice? Share in the comments below!